Empathy
Definition: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also the capacity for empathy----------
its something i believe i'm struggling with.. i like to think that i am able to think outside my own little square, i try to consider another person's thoughts feelings motives etc.. but what i'm thinking usually comes out on top even though i try to factor in their side..
i fall short most of the time in truly understanding them, my thoughts come to the surface and i put my views to whoever i'm talking to and/or my attitude changes, while failing to see it from their side..
for instance at my time at ozemail i was dealing with customers over the phone.. some which had no idea about computers and other who just couldn't speak english that well.. most of the time when i got those people i would just slap my head and look down upon them but still solve there problem.. where i should be seeing it from their side.. they might not have seen a computer before.. they haven't finished a computing degree, they might have moved to australia in the last year or so.. etc..
its really bizarre though.. because if a friend comes to me with an issue/problem i think about every possible factor and try to formulate an answer that can be helpful to the person...
however when there is no problem.. no issue.. no one that comes to me and i have to work it all out by myself.. then i fail to see all factors and how the other person might be thinking... or the reason behind what they did,.. etc
on top of that.. even when say, the person comes to me and enlightens me on their thoughts.. i kinda find a way around it and justify the way i'm thinking..
in the long run, i end up pushing them away from me.. because now that they are telling me.. i'm not listening..
tonight was a perfect example of that.. i thought everything was accounted for.. i thought i took in all factors and i was acting accordingly.. but to my dismay.. it wasn't the case.. i didn't think completely on how i was acting.. and it affected one of the people in the group.. i could see something was up.. and after some probing.. they opened up and told me what was up and it kinda got blown out of the water.. i just couldn't see in front of my nose of what was happening.. they tried to show it to me from their side.. but i woudn't listen.. i justified my actions.. i found ways around the issue.. and made what i was doing right..
that does not help the situation.. the whole thing gets out of hand..
i hope i haven't closed them up.. i hope they can come to me when they need someone to talk to..
more thoughts must be made on the situation of others, its something that really needs to grow for me.. with God's help i know i can make this change..
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